Thursday, January 13, 2011

Your Infertile New Years Resolutions

*I just discovered . It has given me a comic relief during the trying times of infertility. If you feel like you need a good laugh, or perhaps just thoughts from someone who understands, check it out! Below are new years resolutions for infertiles I found on the site. Do you have any to add?

Sure you can have those boring old New Years Resolutions like losing weight, joining a gym or saving money but here are some more interesting ones that ring true for us fabulous infertiles.

1.Stop using the word ‘cervical mucus’ in a sentence. This word might be socially acceptable to chat about at your fertility appointment but not as much during your business board meeting.

2.Stop stalking your fertility clinic. You call your clinic in the morning and they do not call you back until 3pm. It drives you crazy but according to federal law, you don’t have the right to keep calling and calling.

3.Buy toilet paper in bulk. Whether you’ve been trying for a few months or a few years, buying the TP in bulk is just best.

4.Think of a creative response when you hear a pregnancy announcement. Sure, crying alone in the bathroom is fun but try to be creative. We suggest “Radical. That sure is neat-o and swell news!” or “Well golly gee wiz. If I’d have known you’re pregnant, I would’ve baked you my special apple tartlet” (say with a country accent).

5.Stop pre-failing a fertility procedure. Your IUI or IVF cycle is next month but you seem to believe that you already failed it.

6.Stop buying pregnancy sticks. They don’t seem to work and you can save your money for period-related alcohol and chocolate.

7.Stop crying about infertility in private. You spend a lot of time sobbing in the shower, in the bathroom or alone in your car. How about some open public displays of hormonal rage and hysteria?

8.Stop glaring at pregnancy bellies (or at least try to fake a smile).

9.Stop feeling your breasts in public. Do they feel more swollen? Do they feel tender? Squeezing them together in public might scare other people’s children.

10.Contact Facebook and ask them to start banning all ultrasound and belly photos. Ask to speak to FB president Mark Zuckerberg directly.


  1. Those are hilarious, especially #1. I mentioned something about cervical mucus the other day to my husband, and he stopped me mid-sentence and said I was getting too de-sensitized to that word. Ha!

  2. Haha! Fun.

    Much love,
    Future Mama

  3. OMG. LOL - I totally caught myself feeling my boobs today at work to see if they were sore! :D

  4. Hi Jess,

    Thank you so much for the comment on my blog
    Wow it was such a wonderful message about your husband. I really hope you added it to the webpage that I published, please could you also add this to your blog to get the word out there. I will appreciate it.

    From Stefanie over at

  5. Jess, Thanks for visiting my blog. It's great to 'meet' you and I hope 2011 is a great year for you.

  6. This made me laugh...thank you! :)

  7. Hi! Thanks for commenting on my blog. I love 999 Reasons too - glad you found it. I was reading over your past couple of posts and it was fun to read you are from Eau Claire - that is where my mom grew up. And my brother lives in Gig Harbor. Small world!

  8. Hi Jess - just replying to you comment on my blog - not sure if this is the best place but I bet you will get the message! I lived/worked in Oly for years - and my parents are still nearby (Yelm). We live near Spokane now, but I'll check out the bakery next time we visit!

    I love that you are a music therapist! I acutally vaguely considered that as a career, but now I'm just gigging, teaching a bit and doing the SAHM stuff. I play oboe mostly, but also clar, sax, and tuba (!), I have a celtic harp which I wish I played more, and a piano I had years of lessons back in the day, but I just hack around for fun now.

    Best of luck to you -

  9. Hey you. Thanks so much for your comments and prayers on my blog during this loss. They mean a lot to me. Thanks for sharing that website and posting this list - too funny and so many of them are so true for me!! :)

  10. Big hugs. I don't know you, but I can sense your desire to be pregnant. Hope this year is an awesome one for you.

  11. Thank you for your sweet comment on my blog. I hope you have a great weekend.