I have been feeling...restless.
The feeling is.....intricate and woven.
The feeling is.....whooshing left and right through the ventricles of my life.
The feeling is.....difficult to clarify.
Perhaps the unsettledness comes from the weave of routine.
Maybe it is because my heart is aching to become a mother.
And I know it will take years to adopt.
I am looking ahead to May, the month Colin and I are going to begin our adoption process.
Oh May, please come quickly.
Daily I feel twinges of, "Is it time?", almost like a child saying, "Are we there yet?" every 15 minutes.
I daydream of our children.
Big brown eyes, sweet curls.
Playing, taking a bottle, sleeping in our arms.
I want to feel settled.
But, C.S. Lewis reminds me that I will never fully feel settled.
Because we were made for another world.
And, it is an awe-inspiring, lovely, beautiful world.
No tears, Jesus said.
Rest.
Radiance.
Love.
Lovely post. I know you are SO excited to get your adoption process started and you are going to be a great mommy!
ReplyDeleteI saw this link on a friend's wall about a children's book on Ethiopian adoption and thought of you. Here's what she wrote on her FB wall:
"Hey everyone! My friends adopted their little boy from Ethiopia and are patiently waiting on their referral for Baby #2, also from Ethiopia. Anyway, they wrote an adorable book specifically geared toward children adopted from Ethiopia. If y...ou, or someone you know, has a child adopted from there, please pass their link along! This would make a fabulous gift for expectant parents!!
The book is very specific to Ethiopia...Binyam, the main character, visits his orphanage, learns a few words in Amharic, and it's a great way for adoptive parents to keep their child's birth country "alive" and part of their everyday conversation."
http://myplace.frontier.com/~mark.ailor/book/binyambook.html
Yes. Oh so many times yes. I completely agree, girlfriend. Praying for you.
ReplyDeleteVery nicely written. I feel the same way..."restless"...good word for it, much more positive than "frustrated".
ReplyDeleteI agree, lovely post. And what a great quote! Thanks for sharing. xo
ReplyDeletePraying May comes QUICKLY!!!!!
ReplyDeleteBTW, I LOVE your music on your blog. Amazing. I'm always finding something new!