Almost One

Caris will be turning one on September 17. ONE.

It is simply a miracle that we were blessed with our baby girl, and that she is healthy and growing beautifully despite her early arrival. Strangers ask how old she is and think that she should be older because of her size. This is awesome. She is a tall girl!

I am so lucky to have a little girl.

Growing up, I always wanted to have a boy first, and then a girl...perhaps this was because I have an older brother. But, Colin had wanted a little Daddy's girl. Sometime after I met him, my heart began changing for a little girl. And when I got pregnant, I really wanted a girl and just 'knew' the baby would be one.

In the following picture, Caris is wearing my old dress! Almost 30 years old, and still so cute I think. My mother saved so many of my outfits, and now I get to have much fun in dressing my doll!

 

Caris is learning to have opinions on her daily activities--which toys to play with, which books to read. I love this stage. One of her preferences is to play my piano! I have had this piano since second grade, and it is wonderful that Caris is already taking up an interest in plunking on the keys, and even 'singing' while playing. Sitting her at the piano always calms her and puts a smile on her face.



Caris is becoming increasingly mobile. She has been sitting up and rolling for a long time. She is working so hard at crawling. But, we think she may skip crawling and go straight to walking, as she always prefers to be on her feet, and is just beginning to pull up with help. She is seeing an occupational therapist biweekly to help with all of these things, as she has low muscle tone due to her long NICU stay. We are so proud of her progress!

Her personality is so fun! She has always been a smiley lady. Full of giggles.

Here she is in her bunny pajamas. We decorated her nursery in a bunny theme. I will write about her nursery sometime! Her very favorite book is Pat the Bunny. When given a stack of bedtime books, Caris always, every time, will choose Pat the Bunny!

The little love of my life is also the little love of her daddy's life, too. Colin was home for his dinner break this last week, and as I was doing dishes, he took her outside to swing. I snapped this most perfect picture. Caris loves her daddy.

Choosing To Write

Hi Friends!

I have received a few gentle promptings from you requesting an update. I last wrote in this space in April, not knowing if I should continue writing. Not knowing how to continue writing.

Since becoming a mother to Caris last September, I have become more private. More busy. More sleepy, too. Smile.

Through my miracle pregnancy and miracle micropreemie, I have had a year and a half of change. And a year and a half of being overcome with emotions I had never experienced before.

I believe my pause in writing has so much to do with my emotions. I think I have had waves of being both over-emotional and under-emotional. And I have not known what to do with them. Now I know what I must do.

I am choosing to write.

I need to reflect better on this last year and a half. I have a year's worth of daily journal entries to read through for the first time and process. It is going to be difficult, I think.

I gain so much by reading others' writings--spiritual encouragement, learning about being a wife and mother, and being let into the lives of people across the country and the world.

There are many blogs I read that I would be (at least mildy) devastated if the writer decided to discontinue writing.

If I can share my story of mothering a micropreemie and help one mother through her own journey, and if I can tell about my adoption and encourage one woman to pursue adoption, too, then I need to write.

For myself and God willing--for others--I will choose to write.

A Life Update

Where to start.....

I am struggling with what to make of my time with this blog--what to share about my family, to post pictures or to not. Should I make time to share anything at all during this season of my life?

My blog journey started with my experience with infertility, which became the start of our Ethiopian adoption, and now concurrently--the motherhood of my beautiful micro-preemie daughter, Caris.

About our adoption...we have been waiting about 1 1/2 years to adopt 1-2 girls from Ethiopia. Our agency, AGCI, has told us to expect a 4-6 year wait for a referral. So, that takes us to 2 1/2-4 1/2 more years, which could decrease or increase in the future. A lot is being done in Ethiopia to change the adoption process, and many families have chosen to leave the Ethiopia program to adopt from another country, due to the uncertainties that lie ahead. We have chosen to wait for as many years as we need to--we feel whole-heartedly led to Ethiopia. Our hearts have been there this entire time. There are so many children that need homes--we pray ethical changes are made so children can have families, and families can share their love with children. So, we wait in hopeful anticipation of adding to our family.

And my sweetheart, Caris. She is 7 months old. Because she was born 14 weeks too early, she is about 4 months old adjusted (physically and developmentally). She is doing amazingly well. Such a strong girl! So pretty. So smiley. Love her so much.

Colin and I are doing well! We are in love with parenthood. Colin is working hard as a police officer in our town, and I am very blessed to be able to stay home with our miracle girl.

A friend recently asked, "So, what do you do for fun?"....well, I am a mama! 24/7. Caris is my sunshine. Caris is my fun!

The weather is finally beginning to be warm enough for getting outside with Caris on stroller rides and such. I am so thankful for warm days. We have been cooped up during flu/winter season, and I know we both need some fresh air, for sure.

So, I leave you with these bits and pieces of my life lately. What are your bits and pieces lately?

I desire to get back to really writing someday. I am just not yet sure if that someday is near or far. And I believe that is okay. Someday!

LOVE

 

 

This is how we know that we love the children of God:

by loving God and carrying out his commands.

~1 John 5:2

 

Happy day of LOVE from Caris and me!

 

Thank you for praying our little girl to health. Caris is almost 5 months old already. She is still on her apnea monitor and caffeine, but is otherwise a healthy, growing, sweet, and darling girl! 

 

Today is extra special because her name means LOVE!

Home From The NICU

 

Caris Noelle is home from the NICU!

 

After 104 days at the hospital, Caris and I came home to her daddy on December 29th.

 

Oh, that last week was a struggle for Colin and me. Caris had been learning to take her bottle since the middle of November, and it was a much longer process than we had anticipated. That last week, they took her feeding tube out of her nose, and was strictly bottle fed--hoping she would feel her hunger and start taking in more by mouth. She did pretty great, but a couple of the days her feedings were lower than the doctors liked, and they threatened to put her feeding tube back in if she didn't do better. Thankfully, she always did better the next day.

 

I broke down at the hospital on Christmas, because I was tired. Tired of fighting so hard to get Caris home. Stressed out. Worn from living 3+ hours away from Colin and not having our family together.

 

Towards the end of that week, I had the nurses' support to convince the doctors that we could do better at home. We knew the consistency of just Colin and I feeding Caris, and being in a home environment would be so much better for her. Finally, a doctor agreed to discharge her.

 

The first two days home, I was so nervous with fear that she would end up back in the hospital because of dehydration from not taking in enough.

 

But, each day we did a little bit better together! A nurse has been weighing Caris in our home twice a week to ensure she is drinking enough and gaining weight, and she is! Praise God!

 

For a little while, Caris will be on caffeine (to help mature her lungs) and be on an apnea monitor (to alarm us if she does not take a breath within 20 seconds or if her heartrate drops). It is really comforting for us to have her on the monitor, or otherwise I think we may not have been able to sleep at night out of worry.

 

Colin and I are in love with having her home in our care 24/7 and snuggled up in our arms as often as we can. We waited over 6 years to become parents! We are savoring each moment.

 

God has been so good to us. Our little 1 lb. 13.6 oz. miracle is home! She is a sweetheart.

 

Our little fighter...now 9 lb. 11 oz.!

Update On Caris

Hi friends,

I am popping in to give a quick little update on our sweet daughter, Caris.

She is 12 1/2 weeks old already! 38 1/2 weeks gestation. Caris weighs 8 lbs. 7 oz. now! She is 20" long....not quite the itty bitty baby she used to be--she has more than quadrupled her birthweight.

Caris is still in the NICU. We thought we may be settling in at home by now, but taking bottles has been a little bit of a struggle for her. She has been working on them for 4 weeks. She has great technique, but just needs a boost of energy for endurance. She is taking about 50% of her bottles of 70 mL. Whatever she does not drink by mouth, she gets fed through a tube in her nose.

She is still on oxygen, and may go home on it for a while. She developed a cold over the weekend, but is starting to feel better. It is difficult to see her go through these trials, but we sure are developing a strong bond. I love holding her and comforting her. She is such a little sweetheart.

Please keep praying for our little lady. Especially that she develops endurance to drink all of her bottles. She has been working hard and is getting so close! Such a strong little girl. Will you pray her home soon? It sure would be an amazing Christmas present!!!

Our Sweetheart Caris

 

Caris is 8 1/2 weeks old (34 1/2 weeks gestation). She weighs 5 lbs. 3.3 oz.!! She feels so very big to  Colin and me. She is 17" long.

 

Last Saturday, she graduated from her incubator isolette to an open 'crib'. She has done very well with this and is showing that she can regulate her own temperature, and also not get too overstimuated with noise and light.

 

This last Wednesday we started bottle feeding her. She is on 46 mL feedings, and has taken in up to 36 mL at one feeding. Sometimes she is too sleepy, so she is fed the rest of her milk through her feeding tube.

 

Once she takes in the amount of milk she needs for the entire day, they will stop waking her up every 3 hours, and let her give cues that she is hungry. After she masters this and is able to sit up in her carseat for 2 hours without a drop in heartrate or oxygen, she will be ready to come home!!!

 

I am hoping it is within 2-3 weeks! It would be really lovely to have our family all under one roof, as we are currently sleeping under three.

 

Please keep praying for our miracle lady!

 

 

Pictures Of Caris Noelle

 

 

Here are some more pictures of our miracle, Caris.

 

She is getting stronger and bigger each and every day. She hit 3 pounds this week!